This year has been a period of intense inner awareness. I've been lucky to have the BigGuy (Loren) to share it with, as I'm not sure that either of us would have survived the process alone. Just this morning I realized that what our partnership gives to me (to us) is the freedom to pursue my interests, knowing that I have a sounding board, an anchor, and a safety net. It's not something I take lightly. Take for granted, Yes! But when all is said and done, I'm grateful and truly blessed in this marriage.
It would take reams of paper to try to describe what we have discovered, practiced and begun perfecting, and then I'm not sure that most people would understand much less believe it. It's real for me. Some days I wish I'd never happened onto this particular information as it comes with quite a bit of struggle, some physical discomfort, and requires intense concentration to equalize it. As I don't see it going away, we'll keep trying to find more ways to work with it. I'm reminded that when I began learning my meditation, it took me 3 years to own it and make it my own.
Wisconsin has played its part in this process. I was experiencing these energies in California, but it wasn't until we moved to WI with all it's space and relative quiet that I began identifying it. It was BG (BigGuy, pronounced BEEG) that tried changing it, healing it. Because we didn't have many ties in WI, we had the time and energy to take on this "task" and once begun, I think we have to see it through. And now that I've grown accustomed to the Great Outdoors, I can't see living in a big city again.
Writing this, I realize that I truly love Wisconsin. I'm glad I have the chance to experience Nature in this setting. I also realize that I'm getting itchy feet. The Wanderlust is setting in, and I want to see more! Not just more WI, but more USA. My favorite occupation is driving through the countryside on lightly traveled roads. I prefer country roads and scenery to freeways and billboards. Yes, you have to drive slower and stop more often, but that's part of the charm. When we're on a road where the trees nearly meet overhead, or the stream in right next to the road, I feel such a deep contentment. It feeds my soul. Soul Food takes on a whole new meaning!