Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hearts and Flowers

Valentine's Day.

I can't put my finger on it, but at some point I passed the place of being willing to acknowledge holidays. At first it was just the major holidays I no longer wanted to celebrate; Christmas, Easter, New Years. While many holidays fall in the category of Who Really Cares Anyway; St. Paddy's Day, Memorial Day, President's Day, there are a couple of holidays still on my Let's Celebrate these list; Thanksgiving, 4th of July (fireworks!!!)

That point I don't remember passing was when Valentine's Day went from the Who Really Cares Anyway list to the I WILL NOT CELEBRATE THIS PARTICULAR HOLIDAY list.

As a child, I loved Valentine's Day. Every year I made my Valentine Box (usually an old shoe box covered in crepe paper and decorated with doilies and paper hearts), bought and addressed a Valentine to every member of my school class, and spend lots of time putting the appropriate conversation heart into each envelope.

After school we would spend time making heart shaped sugar cookies, icing them and writing names on the cookies. We would take these treats, with additional Valentines to our "special" friends houses. The tradition was to put them on the porch, ring the door bell and run away before they opened the door. I'm not sure why it was so important to not be caught giving Valentine's to our friends, but it was an exciting part of the process.

I would open all my Valentine's, read special intent into the messages, try to guess the identity of any Anonymous cards, and line this collection up on my bed--proof that I was liked, loved, and thought to be special.

Well into adulthood, I would buy, write appropriate sentiment in, and mail Valentine's to friends and loved ones. Now, the thought of doing that actually makes me angry! When did I become such a hardass? and more importantly--WHY?

I'll have to spend some time puzzling this out, and maybe I'll let you know, eventually. In the meantime, I apologize for anyone who feels slighted, bewildered or unappreciated by my behavior.

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