Sunday, February 3, 2008

What's it all about?

Today has been a day of total indulgence. I slept late, ate whatever I wanted, took a leisurely turn on the massage bed, and overloaded my senses with a variety of media.

It started with Dan Fogelberg on the headphones while I was on the massage bed. I put on "Innocent Age" and listened to it from start to finish. Again, I was moved and inspired by the music. Too often I listen to music as background to other activities. It's rare for me to put on the headphones and do nothing but absorb the musical message. Obviously it's something I need to do more often, because it fed me at such a deep, cellular level. I feel reborn, recommitted, and redeemed. As I listened to parts of the album, I was moved to tears with the feeling of loss knowing Dan is gone, and inspired by his legacy and gift to me/us.

Next, I was surfing the computer and popped onto one of my favorite links to see what is new in the art of Michael Fatali. Again, I was moved to tears to see these beautiful images. I feel a connection to this part of the world, and was reminded of how much I love Zion and the surrounding area. I was also moved to realize that Michael spends his days in this beauty, using his talent to both produce these beautiful images, and make his living.

It occurred to me in a deeper and more profound way that I've been going about the process of figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life all wrong. I've committed the sin of limiting my imagination. Most of what I've been considering is what is right in front of my eyes, when what I really prefer are things that are barely on my radar. Today has been about opening my eyes to the endless possibilities out there.

Last, I visited the site for Alex Grey to get caught up and inspired.I was reminded of how much I want to see his work in person. When we saw it in San Diego it was so inspiring that we spend hours studying it. He has produced new art, and I'd like to see it showcased in the gallery.

I spent the day with three artists that made/make it their life work to bring their vision and talent into the world in a medium that can be shared with others. That I am inspired, and delighted and blessed by their efforts is just icing on the cake. None of them do it for me/us. They do it because it is who they are, what they do. And I realized THAT is what I'm looking for. What is it that I MUST do? Not for fame or money or immortality, but because it's who/what I am, and it needs expression. It's a whole new ballgame, now that I have a better question that needs answering. Now I'll just try to get quiet, and listen in that deep part of myself for the answer. And pray for the courage to pursue the vision once it arrives.

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